Comments from Kathryn, the author of this blog and a licensed clinical social worker: You may have heard the phrase “Shiny Object Syndrome”. Shiny Object Syndrome or SOS is skipping from one thing to another, one person to another, one job to another, one book to another. It is the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence syndrome. It is about never being satisfied with what you have and always wanting to skip or jump to the next thing. This is the Shiny Object Syndrome.
SOS is not a new concept. In February 2021 I posted a blog called Understanding FOMO and JOMO – 2 Easy Acronyms to Know. FOMO is the fear of missing out and JOMO is the joy of missing out.
What is SOS?
Defining Shiny Object Syndrome is probably best done with examples:
- You have so many great ideas or so many appealing opportunities that you bounce from one to the other without ever making real progress on any of them.
- You are anxious to be doing anything and everything except the thing that you need to be doing.
- You are bored with the project you have been working on and have become distracted with pleasure and excitement about the next new project.
All of these examples involve you feeling like you might be missing out if you don’t drop what you are doing and pursue the next exciting thing.
For some people, where they are and what they are doing becomes boring. They feel stagnant. For them, the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence; they are always searching for something.
People do this in relationships, too. You may become disenchanted with the routine of life in a monogamous relationship and are ready to dissolve the relationship or find someone you will have an affair with. This feeling is common at year seven of a relationship, the “7-year itch”.
Your Conspirator in SOS
You are working at your computer on that big project that is due by the end of the week. Suddenly, you have a notification pop-up on your computer saying the FED has just dropped interest rates by a full percentage point!!!! You think, “I can start looking for that new home!” On your computer you go to Realtor.com and start looking for new houses in your area. Then you start looking at open houses you can go to this weekend.
Your conspirator in your Shiny Object Syndrome is your active brain.
A 2-hour task ends up taking you 2 or 3 days because your conspirator, your brain, is constantly looking for something new and more exciting than the project you are working on. It is almost like your brain has other ideas on what you should be doing!!! Sometimes those free-flowing ideas your brain has are not in line with what needs to be accomplished today.
The Negative Effect of Shiny Object Syndrome
While there is excitement in something new, there are some real problems with SOS:
- Evading success: You might lose sight of the project you are working on. If you never stick to anything, how do you ever expect to be successful?
- Your TO DO list is never completed: If you are constantly chasing the next best thing, then the items on your current to do list will never get checked off.
- Loss of respect: If you are constantly searching for the next shiny object, you will likely lose self-respect and the respect of others.
- Waste of time: Minutes, hours, and days can get wasted by being distracted with things that don’t really matter.
The Positive Effects of Shiny Object Syndrome
What if your Shiny Object Syndrome drags you to the brain drain of social media? What if your Shiny Object Syndrome is actually your creative side? Maybe you weren’t designed to do boring, routine things for the entirety of your life. Perhaps your Shiny Object Syndrome actually encourages you to look outside the box.
What if your SOS is telling you to stop investing so much time, money and energy in someone who is never going to check all of your emotional boxes? Sometimes people stay in relationships they know are not healthy for them out of fear about how much worse the next significant other might be! Letting go of an unhealthy relationship might actually be preparing you for a better relationship in the future!
Overcoming Shiny Object Syndrome
It is not easy to overcome Shiny Object Syndrome!! Many times you don’t even realize you have been distracted until you have spent a considerable amount of time being distracted. Remember that there are people who have full-time jobs figuring out how to distract you!
- Understand yourself and the way you work: For example, if you know you are easily distracted by the notifications on your computer or phone, don’t turn them on. Keep the notifications on your phone on silent and then turn your phone face down. Don’t open your email server until you are ready to look at emails. This will take a combination of initiation, patience, and commitment.
- Avoid multi-tasking: When you are balancing too many things at once, it is easy to feel overwhelmed. For many people, when they feel overwhelmed, all they want is a distraction. And more often than not, that distraction is social media, and hours can be wasted before you are even aware of what you are doing!
- Focus on your successes: Make a list of successful projects you have completed. Keep that list where you will see it. It is easy to get lost in your work, to get carried away by one project after another and forget your achievements when you have stayed on task.
Take Away Point
Without focus it is so easy to be distracted and to lose sight of what you are working on. Chasing the shiny new object will leave you distracted and overwhelmed. Think of how much you could achieve if you focused all your energy and resources on what was beneficial to you!
With warmest regards,
Thank you so much for reading this blog. If you enjoyed the content, please check out other blogs at:
https://relationshipsrelearned.com/my-blog/
https://rvingnomads.com/blog/
In addition to blogs and articles, I have written a series of self-help books. To view these books, please go to my Amazon Authors Page or go to the books tab at the top of this page.
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If you live in the State of Maine or Texas and seeking individual therapy, please go to my Concierge Therapy website: www.kathynmaietta.com
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