What is FOMO and JOMO?
Not familiar with the acronyms of FOMO and JOMO? In the age of social image crafting and social media overload, perhaps you have experienced FOMO! You have set your cell phone to notify you when you have a call or a text or an email or when a “news story” breaks or your sports team scores or when someone adds a new Facebook post or when UPS is making a delivery to your home or .… The notifications are an endless barrage of information.
Definitions from Macmillan Dictionary: FOMO and JOMO
FOMO is an acronym standing for the expression fear of missing out, used to describe that feeling of anxiety which many people experience when they discover that other people have had fun together, been successful at something, or done just about anything which they might have wanted to be involved in. FOMO manifests itself in various ways, from a brief pang of envy through to a real sense of self-doubt or inadequacy. Macmillan Dictionary (FOMO)
JOMO is an acronym standing for the expression joy of missing out, and it simply refers to the gratifying feeling you get when you break away from the (real or virtual) activities of your social group and spend time doing exactly what you most want to do. For many people, true JOMO is only possible when they take a brief digital detox, shutting themselves off from social media and any virtual connection to the world around them. Macmillan Dictionary (JOMO).
If anything good has come out of the COVID pandemic, perhaps it is JOMO or the Joy of Missing Out. After 2020, it seems like nothing is going to be the same. For the JOMO crowd this may not be such a bad thing. JOMO is about being present in the moment, appreciating our connections to others, and not being so harsh on ourselves. Psychology Today – The Joy Of Missing Out. JOMO is about lowering the bar to something that is more attainable, something more humanly possible!
JOMO is really about decreasing your stress level and being present in the moment.
Vladic Raviche, co-founder of Artery, has a wonderful quote about JOMO: “My favorite thing about the JOMO movement is that it’s not based in nostalgia. It’s not wishing for a time that these things didn’t exist. It’s saying this isn’t the only way these things have to exist.” https://www.christinacrook.com/
Tips for Turning FOMO to JOMO
If you are interested in turning FOMO into JOMO, Kate Winick might be able to help. In her article How to Turn FOMO into JOMO, she suggests the following tips to build your own blueprint for JOMO. I have added information to this list about how each tip affects the relationship you have with others. PSYCOM – How to Turn FOMO Into JOMO
- Use your senses.
Description: Focusing on our senses, like the sound of the ocean lapping up on the shore, the smell of the coconut sunblock, the feel of the sun warming your body, and the view of the boat in the vista, ensures that we are in the present. This is a meditation 101 kind of thinking.
Effect on your relationships: This thinking puts you in the here and now. You are not thinking about or bringing up old hurts from the past, or worrying about the future.
- Stop multi-tasking.
Description: When you’re showering, only focus on the experience of showering. Just wash the dishes; be present without phone calls, music, or podcasts to distract you.
Effect on your relationships: This thinking helps you engage with yourself, or the person you are with. It allows you to really hear what is being said and participate fully in any discussion.
- Inhale…exhale.
Description: Take 4 deep breaths and focus on the breath. If you are truly focused on your breath, there is nowhere else for your mind to go.
Effect on your relationships: This thinking will help reduce stress. By reducing stress, you will be able to interact with others in a more positive, calm mode.
- Practice gratitude.
Description: Taking time to note all things one can be thankful for helps us focus on what ‘is’ rather than what ‘could be’.
Effect on your relationships: This thinking helps you focus on reality, what is happening today. Depression and anxiety set in when you start wistfully thinking about how things could have been.
- Give yourself three mindful minutes every day. That’s all it takes. Using an app like the Calm app or Headspace can be a great way to practice a guided meditation.
Effect on your relationships: This thinking helps you refocus and re-center yourself. This allows you to be more present with yourself and with those around you.
- Smell your food: This goes back to the point about your senses and is a practical way to make it a habit. Engage in more than just taste when you eat a meal. Smelling a tangerine as you peel it or savoring the smell of cookies baking in the oven brings you right to the here and now.
Effect on your relationships: This thinking brings you back to the present. When your mind is not swirling with the “what ifs”, it is easier to enjoy the routine things.
- Ground yourself.
Description: You might have heard of this one if you have anxiety. Noting the texture of the chair you’re sitting in, how it feels to note the texture of your hands and sensing the shoes on your feet are all ways to bring you into your present physical experience.
Effect on your relationships: This thinking focuses on you, and reducing your anxiety. Being calm as you approach a situation with a significant other will likely bring about a more calm discussion
- Look into someone’s eyes.
Description: Even when we’re having conversations, we rarely look one another in the eyes. Slow down and really sink into eye contact with someone. See how it slows down the rapidity of life.
Effect on your relationships: This thinking has to do with being in the present, of focusing on the person in front of you. You can’t be looking at your phone or the TV if you are looking at someone as they speak.
- Go for a walk.
Description: Whether you listen to music or talk with someone, using your physical body to be in your present environment can be hugely connecting to the here and now.
Effect on your relationships: This thinking focuses on combining the release of endorphins during physical activity with the creativity of music or a discussion with a significant other.
Stress Management
If you need additional help in the area of stress reduction, please check out my book Crush Your Stress: 302 Coping Skills for Managing Your Stress.
With warmest regards,
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