Resilience is the ability to bounce back from adversity. It is a skill that originates from believing in yourself and is used to cope with adversity, adapt to change, accept uncertainty and overcome challenges.
People are not born with resilience. It is a skill that is learned through observing others and through thriving during stressful times or situations. While most people learn resilience in childhood, it is possible to learn resilience in adulthood or even in your senior or more mature years!
It is never too late to learn resilience. It is the one skill that can help you succeed in life when the going gets tough.
Types of Resilience
When you think about resilience, you may think about examples of personal resilience. For example, someone is laid off from their job and then they find a higher paying job with better benefits. Or someone who goes through a divorce and then finds the love of their life who treats them with respect and dignity. These are examples of emotional resilience. Someone faces a difficult situation and they have the inner fortitude, resilience, to make “lemonade when they were given lemons.”
However, another type of resilience is physical resilience. For example, you have a cold or the flu and you recover. You have a broken leg, have surgery and recover. You are diagnosed with cancer, receive treatment, and receive a clean bill of health. These are all examples of your body demonstrating resilience.
And finally, a community can have resilience. Community resilience is when a community pulls together after a devastating event. For example, after the Boston Marathon bombing, signs went up everywhere that said, “Boston Strong”. Or after a hurricane, tornado or wildfire a community pulls together to support each other and to rebuild.
Resilience in Children
Resilience is something that children usually learn in childhood. Children will watch their parents navigate stressful situations and observe their resilience, their ability to bounce back after adversity, or they observe their parents’ lack of resilience.
What is ironic is that adults who may not have resilience can actually teach the skills to their children! In teaching resilience to their children, adults may actually learn it for themselves as well!
As a parent, or someone who is in a position to role model resilience, there are simple ways you can help children learn resilience:
- Acceptance of Change
Teach a child that change is inevitable. Teach them that nothing stays the same, including people, places and situations. - Take a Break from Worrying
Teach a child that during stressful times it is okay to take a step back, to relax and not have to feel stressed about whatever is going on. - Past Resilience
Teach a child to remember how they have made it through stressful times in the past. Remind the child s/he will be successful again. - Routine
Teach a child how to develop a routine for themselves. It will help the child feel like s/he has control of their life. - Support Network
Teach a child how to make connections with other children. A social network is vital for support during a time of stress.
Resilience in Adulthood
While most people learn resilience as children, it is something that adults can learn, too. You can find others to be mentors for you, people who can role model resilience as an adult. Or, you can teach yourself how to have resilience.
In some of the same ways you demonstrate resilience to children, you can teach it to yourself, too. It is never too late to learn:
- Balanced Living
Take care of your mind, body, and spirit (get adequate sleep, exercise, set limits for using technology, good nutrition, hydration). - Bounce Back
Pick yourself up, as many times as it takes. If it helps, visualize yourself as a rubber ball bouncing back from adversity! - Mental Toughness
Master your emotions before they master you! See yourself as a fighter, as someone who can and will succeed. Focus on your successes. - Paradigm Shift
This is the ability to look at situations differently. You cannot solve problems with the same thinking that created them. See my article on The Paradigm Shift - Perseverance
Keep moving forward despite setbacks, have a clear sense of priorities, and know your goals. Don’t let a failure stop you or slow you down.
Resilience in Aging
Successful aging has typically been defined as freedom from chronic disease and disability as well as maintaining high physical and mental functioning. While resilience is important at any age, resilience in aging is vital. It is never too late to learn!
- Ask for help
Ask for help and graciously accept it when it’s offered. No one can “do it alone”, especially in aging. - Embrace the “New Normal”
Have a positive attitude about the aging process. It is about living life to its fullest while accepting the limits of a new normal. - Faith in Yourself
You have lived a longer life, that doesn’t “just happen”. Have a belief in yourself and your ability to successfully handle whatever life brings. - Focus on What You Can Control
Focus on what can be controlled as opposed to what cannot be controlled. You can’t control the flow of traffic, but you can control the amount of dirty dishes in the sink! - Physically and Emotionally Active
Keep active physically and emotionally. Revel in what you are physically or emotionally able to do as opposed to what you can no longer accomplish.
Take-away Points
To be able to bounce back from the inevitable adversities in life, you must have resilience. You are not born with resilience, but it can be learned at any stage in life. Resilience is believing in yourself and your ability to manage any situation, no matter how difficult.
For more tips on how to increase your resilience, check out my article on 30 Ways To Boost Resilience.
With warmest regards,
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