{"id":1491,"date":"2021-03-30T10:30:00","date_gmt":"2021-03-30T15:30:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/relationshipsrelearned.com\/staging\/9213\/1\/?p=1491"},"modified":"2023-11-07T11:35:58","modified_gmt":"2023-11-07T17:35:58","slug":"what-is-hidden-anger-know-7-characteristics","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/relationshipsrelearned.com\/staging\/9213\/what-is-hidden-anger-know-7-characteristics\/","title":{"rendered":"\u201cWhat Is Hidden Anger? Know 7 Characteristics\u201d"},"content":{"rendered":"
\n
Masking anger in order to hide it from everyone.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<\/div>\n\n\n

Consciously vs. Unconsciously Hiding Your Anger<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Consciously you may know you are angry. Or you may have hidden or unconscious anger, anger you may not even be aware of! You can identify the moment you started to feel angry. You know who was around you. You can identify your physiological response. Maybe your face went red, or the color drained from your face! Maybe your shoulders tensed. You tightly crossed your arms, or maybe even clenched your fists. In this situation you can identify the anger and make choices about how you want to respond: sit with the uncomfortable feeling, express your anger assertively, or be destructive with the expression of anger.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Sometimes people can be so afraid of their anger and the way they express their anger that the feeling is driven deep within them. They will not acknowledge feeling angry. Or they have stuffed their anger for so long, they don\u2019t even identify the feeling as anger. They might call it frustration or betrayal or disappointed, but never anger.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Hidden anger is sneaky, subtle, and covert. It also has its risks and bad consequences. Hidden anger is indirect, incongruent and unproductive behavior. It blocks resolution as it is intended to hurt annoy or destroy someone. Hidden anger is also triggered by needs that are not met like need for attention, love, care, being in control and many others. Hidden anger is never positive because of its manipulative nature.
Cognitive Healing article: How to Overcome Hidden Anger and Passive Aggressive Behaviors.<\/em><\/a><\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/div>\n\n\n\n

Hidden Anger in Relationships<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

All hidden anger is harmful, destructive and manipulative in relationships. Once hidden anger is identified, you can begin to learn about how to express your anger in a healthy, assertive, productive manner.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Having one or two of the following characteristics doesn\u2019t mean you have hidden anger. Many of the following characteristics can be explained in other ways. For example, if you wake up tired instead of refreshed, it could be because you have a bad mattress. However, the more characteristics you have, the more likely it is that you have hidden anger!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Perhaps some of the following sound like you?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    \n
  1. Harmful Verbal Communication<\/strong>
    Characteristics:
    \u2022 A liking for sadistic or hurtful humor
    \u2022 Using sarcasm
    \u2022 Flippancy in conversation
    \u2022 Continually being critical of others
    \u2022 Overly controlled monotone speaking voice
    \u2022 Overuse of profanity
    \u2022 Exaggerated irritability over nothing
    \u2022 Being judgmental<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n\n\n\n

    Effect on your relationships: You never take things seriously. Everything is a \u201cjoke\u201d, usually at someone else\u2019s expense. If anyone challenges your sarcasm, your response is, \u201cWhat\u2019s the matter, can\u2019t you take a joke?\u201d In thinking that \u201cthe best defense is a good offense\u201d, you may sabotage a relationship. You want to be the one in charge, the person in control. Conflict is rarely resolved in a healthy manner.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

      \n
    1. Passive-Aggressive Verbal Communication:<\/strong>
      Characteristics:
      \u2022 Over politeness
      \u2022 A constant cheerfulness
      \u2022 \u201cGrin and bear it\u201d attitude<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n\n\n\n

      Effect on your relationships: Sometimes when anger is hidden, people will go to the opposite extreme and come across as someone who is \u201chappy\u201d. All of it is a fa\u00e7ade and is extremely detrimental to relationships.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

        \n
      1. Nonverbal Communication<\/strong>
        Characteristics:
        \u2022 Procrastination of tasks
        \u2022 Perpetual lateness
        \u2022 Excessively impatient
        \u2022 Frequent sighing
        \u2022 Eye rolling
        \u2022 Avoidance of eye contact
        \u2022 Habitual fist clenching<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n\n\n\n

        Effect on your relationships: Because you are turning your anger inward you carry around some depression, some sadness. When people see you frequently sighing or jiggling your leg and they ask what is wrong, your response is always, \u201cI\u2019m fine\u201d or \u201cThere is nothing wrong.\u201d All are destructive to relationships.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

          \n
        1. Physical Symptoms<\/strong>
          Characteristics:
          \u2022 Chronically stiff or sore muscles
          \u2022 Facial tics
          \u2022 Clenching jaws during the night
          \u2022 Grinding of your teeth during the night<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n\n\n\n

          Effect on relationships: Your body is going to let you know when there is hidden anger. Perhaps you are constantly having aches and pains that may even prevent intimacy or any physical activity. Medication or using ice or heat don\u2019t seem to be effective.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

            \n
          1. Energy Level<\/strong>
            Characteristics:
            \u2022 Boredom
            \u2022 Feeling lethargic
            \u2022 Apathy or loss of interest in things you are usually enthusiastic about
            \u2022 Chronic depression, extended periods of feeling \u201cdown\u201d for no reason
            \u2022 Slowing down of movement and\/or activity
            \u2022 Sleeping more than usual
            \u2022 Getting tired more easily than usual<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n\n\n\n

            Effect on your relationships: Your apathy and\/or lack of interest in doing activities can interfere with a successful relationship. You lack the energy to put into a relationship to make it better. You aren\u2019t much fun to be around!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

              \n
            1. Poor Boundaries<\/strong>
              Characteristics:
              \u2022 Can\u2019t say \u201cno\u201d
              \u2022 Needing to have the last word
              \u2022 Plotting revenge
              \u2022 Frequently using the following phrases: \u201cyou should\u2026\u201d, \u201cyes, but\u2026\u201d, \u201cwhatever\u201d, \u201cwhy me?\u201d, \u201cnothing is wrong\u201d, \u201cyou always\u2026\u201d, \u201cyou never\u2026\u201d<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n\n\n\n

              Effect on your relationships: When someone has difficulty saying \u201cno\u201d, they tend to have poor boundaries, or they fear allowing their real feelings to be evident. There tends to be a lack of honesty in the relationship.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

                \n
              1. Sleep Patterns<\/strong>
                Characteristics:
                \u2022 Waking up tired rather than rested or refreshed
                \u2022 Frequently having disturbing or frightening dreams
                \u2022 Dreaming in black and white or monochrome
                \u2022 Difficulty getting to sleep
                \u2022 Difficulty sleeping through the night
                \u2022 Waking up early and not being able to get back to sleep<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n\n\n\n

                Effect on Relationships: Not getting enough rest is one of the key factors in interrupting an otherwise healthy relationship. Feeling hungry, angry, lonely or tired (HALT) interferes with an honest discussion.
                See my article: Five Roadblocks to Effective Communications<\/em><\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n

                Do any of the above characteristics sound like you? If you have 4 or 5 of the preceding \u201crandom characteristics\u201d, you may be denying your anger. It may be hidden anger.
                Phycology Today article: Getting to the Root of Hidden Anger<\/em><\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n

                By being able to identify your hidden anger you can start to be more honest with yourself and those around you. And your relationships may improve!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

                <\/div>\n\n\n\n

                Quotes on Hidden Anger:<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

                Life is too short to hide your feelings. Don\u2019t be afraid to say what you feel.<\/em>
                – Anonymous<\/p>\n\n\n\n

                People who hide their feelings usually care the most.<\/em>
                – Thepsychmind.com<\/p>\n\n\n\n

                Bitter people are not interested in what you say, but what you hide.<\/em>
                – Shannon L. Alder<\/p>\n\n\n\n

                Three things cannot be hidden: the sun, the moon and the truth.<\/em>
                – Buddha<\/p>\n\n\n\n

                With warmest regards,
                \"Kathryn-End<\/p>\n\n\n\n

                To be notified of new posts like \u201cWhat Is Hidden Anger? Know 7 Characteristics\u201d<\/em>, please enter your email address and click on the Subscribe button.<\/p>\n\n\n\n\n\n


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                Consciously vs. Unconsciously Hiding Your Anger Consciously you may know you are angry. Or you may have hidden or unconscious anger, anger you may not […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":1511,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"nf_dc_page":"","_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[51,54,39],"tags":[103,104,102,105],"class_list":["post-1491","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-anger","category-communication","category-relationships","tag-consciously-or-unconsciously","tag-express-your-anger","tag-hiding-anger","tag-uncomfortable-feeling"],"aioseo_notices":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/relationshipsrelearned.com\/staging\/9213\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/02\/Hidden-Anger.png?fit=391%2C614&ssl=1","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/relationshipsrelearned.com\/staging\/9213\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1491","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/relationshipsrelearned.com\/staging\/9213\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/relationshipsrelearned.com\/staging\/9213\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/relationshipsrelearned.com\/staging\/9213\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/relationshipsrelearned.com\/staging\/9213\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1491"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/relationshipsrelearned.com\/staging\/9213\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1491\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":4231,"href":"https:\/\/relationshipsrelearned.com\/staging\/9213\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1491\/revisions\/4231"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/relationshipsrelearned.com\/staging\/9213\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/1511"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/relationshipsrelearned.com\/staging\/9213\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1491"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/relationshipsrelearned.com\/staging\/9213\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1491"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/relationshipsrelearned.com\/staging\/9213\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1491"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}