{"id":3540,"date":"2023-02-14T08:00:00","date_gmt":"2023-02-14T14:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/relationshipsrelearned.com\/staging\/9213\/1\/?p=3540"},"modified":"2023-11-02T12:01:11","modified_gmt":"2023-11-02T17:01:11","slug":"content-to-process-shift","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/relationshipsrelearned.com\/staging\/9213\/content-to-process-shift\/","title":{"rendered":"Content To Process Shift &#8211; How To Recognize It"},"content":{"rendered":"<div class=\"wp-block-image\">\n<figure class=\"aligncenter size-full is-resized\"><img data-recalc-dims=\"1\" loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"927\" height=\"579\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/relationshipsrelearned.com\/staging\/9213\/1\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/02\/Content-to-Process-Shift.png?resize=927%2C579&#038;ssl=1\" alt=\"Content to Process Shift is like this image, the topic content changes direction without warning.\" class=\"wp-image-3562\" style=\"width:-88px;height:-55px\" srcset=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/relationshipsrelearned.com\/staging\/9213\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/02\/Content-to-Process-Shift.png?w=927&amp;ssl=1 927w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/relationshipsrelearned.com\/staging\/9213\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/02\/Content-to-Process-Shift.png?resize=300%2C187&amp;ssl=1 300w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/relationshipsrelearned.com\/staging\/9213\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/02\/Content-to-Process-Shift.png?resize=768%2C480&amp;ssl=1 768w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 927px) 100vw, 927px\" \/><\/figure>\n<\/div>\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Content To Process Shift<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"\">When was the last time you wanted to talk with your significant other about a serious topic and before you knew it you were discussing something entirely different? And you wondered what happened.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"\">You know, the time you were talking to your significant other about saving money by buying a used car vs. spending the extra money on a new car. And before you were aware of it, you were defending yourself from verbal attacks about \u201cYou don\u2019t seem to mind buying new clothing\u201d.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"\">These are examples of \u201cdeflection\u201d, \u201csnowing\u201d or \u201cgas lighting\u201d. Another term that is more explicit for this common destructive communication technique is \u201ccontent to process shift\u201d. It is a technique used to direct attention away from the person who doesn\u2019t want to hear what is being said and\/or doesn\u2019t want to accept responsibility for his\/her actions.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"\">Your discussion about the original topic (content) becomes a discussion or argument about an unrelated topic (process). It is an avoidance technique.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Recognizing Content to Process Shift<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"\">Content to process shift is a crafty technique that many people don\u2019t even recognize. It is virtually impossible to respond in a healthy manner if you don\u2019t even realize you are being sucked down the rabbit hole of someone else\u2019s nonsense!<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"m0\">There are key words, phrases and nonverbal communication techniques that are common to the content to process shift:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"has-background wp-block-list\" style=\"background-color:#f7fdfd\">\n<li class=\"\">\u201cYou\u201d at the beginning of a sentence.<br>For example, \u201cYou never listen.\u201d<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li class=\"\">Blanket generalities.<br>For example, \u201cYou always interrupt me\u201d or \u201cWe never talk about what is important to me\u201d<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li class=\"\">The temperature in the room goes up.<br>For example, voices get louder and\/or a tone of voice becomes harsher.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li class=\"\">There are threats.<br>For example, \u201cOkay, I just won\u2019t say anything then\u201d or \u201cIf I am not good enough, maybe we should just go our separate ways\u201d<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li class=\"\">A return volley.<br>For example, \u201cIt isn\u2019t like you don\u2019t always interrupt me\u201d or \u201cIt isn\u2019t like you don\u2019t spend money on frivolous things!\u201d<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li class=\"\">You feel like you are in the eye of a tornado.<br>For example, a discussion about one thing morphs into this, that and any other thing. Tornados pick up debris (past argument topics) as they swirl and gain speed.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Right or Wrong?<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"\">If someone has made the decision to use content to process shift, know that person is coming from a place of weakness, guilt and perhaps even fear. It is likely the person using content to process shift is well aware they are \u201cin the wrong\u201d. Why else would there be an attempt to deflect?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"\"><span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">When someone is using content to process shift with you, it is because they know you are right and they are in the wrong.<\/span> Their use of this technique is to get you to doubt yourself and to question your own logic. This is the gaslighting aspect.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"\">Sounds wild, doesn\u2019t it?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"\">At the exact point you are questioning yourself, YOU are the one who is logical, reasonable and in the right! There is no need to play this game.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\">How to Respond to Someone Using Content to Process Shift<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"\">There are two factors to take into consideration when you recognize you are the recipient of a content to process attempt. The first factor is to realize your topic is on point. There is no need to become defensive if you are right. It may be helpful to think of another way to phrase your content, maybe even lowering your voice or avoiding words that might inflame the discussion, for example, you, always and never.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"m0\">A second factor to keep in consideration if you are right, is that there is no need to humiliate the other person. You do not need to be demeaning or play on their fears. You already know you were right by their use of content to process shift. The use of one of the following assertive statements, or versions of the following assertive statements, might be helpful:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"has-background wp-block-list\" style=\"background-color:#f7fdfd\">\n<li class=\"\">\u201cWhat you are saying is important. Can we come back to it when we have resolved our original topic?\u201d<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li class=\"\">\u201cI hear your concerns. Can we come back to that? It is hard for me to focus on two topics at once.\u201d<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"m0\">You may need to repeat your assertive statement several times in multiple different ways. That is okay. The point is not to get taken down their rabbit hole. Remember you are the one who is right.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"m0 has-background\" style=\"background-color:#f7fdfd\"><strong>Example 1<\/strong>:  Olivia and Kurt <br>Olivia opens the credit card bill and is shocked to see a large charge on the credit card.<br><br>The second Kurt walks into the house, Olivia confronts Kurt and says, \u201cWe didn\u2019t pay off the credit card last month. Why did you charge $1,000 worth of fishing gear?\u201d<br><br>Kurt demands to see the credit card bill and says, \u201cWhat are you talking about? Look at all the charges on here for shoes! If you didn\u2019t buy so many new shoes we wouldn\u2019t be in this situation!<br><br>Olivia responds, \u201cIt was one pair of sandals for $50!\u201d<br><br>Kurt raises his voice and says, \u201cI don\u2019t know why you have to have so many shoes! Your closet is full of shoes!\u201d<br><br>Olivia repeats, \u201cIt was one pair of sandals!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"\">Olivia and Kurt are now talking about what? Right, her shoes.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"\">Kurt knows he shouldn\u2019t have spent $1,000 on fishing equipment, so he begins deflecting. They have moved away from talking about fishing equipment and they are onto talking about shoes. Without skill on Olivia\u2019s part, what are the chances Kurt and Olivia will ever return to talking about how to pay off the Visa bill? How successful was Kurt in drawing attention away from his purchase of $1,000 worth of fishing gear?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"m0\">What would have happened if Olivia had recognized the content to process shift and not gone down Kurt\u2019s rabbit hole of deflection? What would have happened if she stayed focused on the fishing gear?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"m0 has-background\" style=\"background-color:#f7fdfd\"><strong>Example 2<\/strong>  Olivia and Kurt<br>Olivia opens the credit card bill and is shocked to see a large charge on the credit card.<br><br>The second Kurt walks into the house, Olivia confronts Kurt and says, \u201cWe didn\u2019t pay off the credit card last month. Why did you charge $1,000 worth of fishing gear?\u201d<br><br>Kurt demands to see the credit card bill and says, \u201cWhat are you talking about? Look at all the charges on here for shoes! If you didn\u2019t buy so many new shoes we wouldn\u2019t be in this situation!<br><br>Olivia keeps her voice calm and responds, \u201cI am happy to talk about how we can pay off the $50 sandals after we talk about how we can pay for $1,000 worth of fishing equipment.\u201d<br><br>Kurt raises his voice and says, \u201cI don\u2019t know why you have to have so many shoes! You are always buying more shoes!\u201d<br><br>Olivia continues to keep her voice calm, \u201cI know there is a charge on there for a pair of $50 sandals. I am happy to talk about how we can pay them off after we talk about how we can pay for $1,000 worth of fishing equipment.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Take Away Point<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"\">It is easy to be influenced by someone else\u2019s insecurities and destructive deflection techniques. Being aware of this technique and how to respond allows you to stay focused on the subject (content) and not be flooded with defensive comebacks (process).<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"\">With warmest regards,<br><a href=\"https:\/\/www.amazon.com\/author\/kathryn_maietta_msw\"><img data-recalc-dims=\"1\" loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"300\" height=\"97\" class=\"wp-image-1389\" style=\"width: 300px;\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/relationshipsrelearned.com\/staging\/9213\/1\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/01\/Kathryn-RelationshipsRelearned.com_.png?resize=300%2C97&#038;ssl=1\" alt=\"Kathryn-End of Post Signature\" srcset=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/relationshipsrelearned.com\/staging\/9213\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/01\/Kathryn-RelationshipsRelearned.com_.png?w=681&amp;ssl=1 681w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/relationshipsrelearned.com\/staging\/9213\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/01\/Kathryn-RelationshipsRelearned.com_.png?resize=300%2C97&amp;ssl=1 300w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"\">Thank you so much for reading this blog. If you enjoyed the content, please check out other blogs at:<br><a href=\"https:\/\/relationshipsrelearned.com\/staging\/9213\/1\">https:\/\/relationshipsrelearned.com\/staging\/9213\/1<\/a><br><a href=\"https:\/\/rvingnomads.com\">https:\/\/rvingnomads.com<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"\">You can now view my books that are available on my <a href=\"https:\/\/www.amazon.com\/author\/kathryn_maietta_msw\"><strong><em>Authors Page<\/em><\/strong><\/a>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"\">To be notified of future posts, please enter your email address and click on the Subscribe button.<\/p>\n\n\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Content To Process Shift When was the last time you wanted to talk with your significant other about a serious topic and before you knew [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":3562,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"nf_dc_page":"","_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[54,39],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-3540","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-communication","category-relationships"],"aioseo_notices":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/relationshipsrelearned.com\/staging\/9213\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/02\/Content-to-Process-Shift.png?fit=927%2C579&ssl=1","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/relationshipsrelearned.com\/staging\/9213\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3540","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/relationshipsrelearned.com\/staging\/9213\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/relationshipsrelearned.com\/staging\/9213\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/relationshipsrelearned.com\/staging\/9213\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/relationshipsrelearned.com\/staging\/9213\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=3540"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/relationshipsrelearned.com\/staging\/9213\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3540\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":4160,"href":"https:\/\/relationshipsrelearned.com\/staging\/9213\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3540\/revisions\/4160"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/relationshipsrelearned.com\/staging\/9213\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/3562"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/relationshipsrelearned.com\/staging\/9213\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=3540"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/relationshipsrelearned.com\/staging\/9213\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=3540"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/relationshipsrelearned.com\/staging\/9213\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=3540"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}