Comments from Kathryn, the author of this blog and a licensed clinical social worker. One of the reasons people seek therapy is to improve their self-esteem. They don’t feel good about themselves. This could be the result of their own negative self-talk, or it could be the people who surround them, for example, family, friends, co-workers or acquaintances.

Self-esteem is your own mental picture of yourself, how you see yourself. It is a collection of beliefs and judgments about your personality and your strengths and weaknesses. Self-esteem is how you feel about yourself and your own personal abilities.

Can you have “too much” self-esteem? Yes! It is called being arrogant toward others, being self-indulgent, feeling superior to others and acting entitled. They are also people who are highly critical of others and people who do not see their own flaws.

Characteristics of People with High Self-Esteem

Having high self-esteem is understanding that you do feel good about yourself, that you do have something to offer. High self-esteem is a healthy goal to achieve! Characteristics of people with high self-esteem include the following:

1. Having a clear sense of individuality (being an individual)
2. Living life according to your own standards and values
3. Having confidence in yourself, that you can make things happen
4. Taking risks, even when there is a possibility of failure
5. Having self-respect, for example, liking who you are
6. Believing in yourself
7. Having a positive outlook on life
8. Having resilience in the face of adversity
9. Listening with intent and purpose, realizing others may have something to offer, too
10. Consistently taking care of yourself, physically and emotionally

Characteristics of People with Low Self-Esteem

People who have low self-esteem have a real opportunity to make changes in their lives! They do not need to live with worry and self-doubt! It is possible to improve your self-esteem. Characteristics of people with low self-esteem include the following:

1. Refusing to try something because you feel you will likely fail
2. Not taking care of your mind and/or your body
3. Comparing yourself to others and feeling that you are not as good or intelligent or as wealthy as others
4. Worrying about what other people might think about you.
5. Having a fear of success
6. Lacking healthy boundaries, or not enforcing the boundaries you do have
7. Having difficulty accepting compliments from others
8. Practicing social withdrawal by not wanting to be around others
9. Focusing on perfectionism instead of doing the best you can
10. Having a distorted view of self, you see yourself very differently than others see you

How to Build Self-Esteem

You do not have to live with low self-esteem. There are skills and techniques you can learn and incorporate into your life to increase your self-esteem. As you are learning and practicing these new skills, it will be important for your success to surround yourself with others who have high self-esteem and who are supportive of you in your journey.

1. Have realistic and/or healthy expectations for yourself.
2. Monitor your self-talk, for example, don’t put yourself down.
3. Seek opportunities to have positive experiences.
4. Set your own standards.
5. Emphasize your strengths, not your “weaknesses” or “mistakes”.
6. Step outside your comfort zone.
7. Treat yourself and others kindly.
8. Take care of yourself (activity, nutrition, hydration).
9. Celebrate even the smallest of victories.
10. Realize that sometimes your failures are not completely your fault.
11. Never give up.
12. Learn something new every day.
13. Take risks; being courageous will increase your self-esteem.
14. Choose your friends / support system carefully.
15. Set realistic goals.
16. Practice gratitude and having a positive attitude.
17. Be assertive, not aggressive.
18. Stop comparing yourself to others.
19. Volunteer, give back to your community.
20. Forgive yourself.

It isn’t always easy to build your self-esteem. If you need an excellent step-by-step guide on how to build your self-esteem, check out my book, Stop Being Your Own Worst Critic: How to Use Affirmations and Journaling to Improve Your Self-Esteem.

Take Away Point

Sometimes it is not easy to see yourself objectively. Challenge yourself to find and reinforce your value to the world. Focusing on your failures will only lead to self-doubt. There are many simple and some not so simple methods for improving your self-esteem. You are worth it.

With warmest regards,

Thank you so much for reading this blog. If you enjoyed the content, please check out other blogs at:
RelationshipsRelearned.com
RVingNomads.com

In addition to blogs and articles, I have written a series of self-help books called The Personal Empowerment Series and a fictional series named The Charlotte Novella Series. To view my books and novellas I have written, please go to my Amazon Authors Page.

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If you live in the State of Maine or Texas and seeking individual therapy, please go to my Concierge Therapy website: KathrynMaietta.com

Kathryn Maietta, MSW, LCSW Licensed Clinical Social Worker / Author and Blogger

I am a licensed clinical social worker in Maine and in Texas. The focus of my practice has been working individually with adult men and women and working with couples. I received my BSW from Baylor University and my MSW from Boston University. Since 2020 I have published a series of self-help books and written a bi-weekly mental health blog.

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Anger Management Domestic Abuse/Violence Relationships Stress and Anxiety Communication Resilience