No one reaches their peak performance without feeling stressed. It doesn’t matter if that person is an athlete, a student, an office worker or a C-suite executive (CEO, COO, CFO). Peak performance can usually only be achieved by feeling stress.
The problem is that most people only perceive stress as a bad thing, “I’m so stressed out!!!!” or “I am stressed to the max!!!!” Instead of stress being a motivator, it can paralyze people.
Facing Stress
You absolutely cannot move through life without experiencing stress. When you experience stress, you will find yourself going through a cycle:
- a stress-causing event or situation occurs
- you respond or react to the stressful event or situation
- you return to a normal, relaxed state
You cannot prevent all stressful events or situations from occurring. There will be dozens of these events throughout the day. Some big and some so small and insignificant that you don’t even identify them as a stressful event, for example, “What am I going to wear to work today?”
The problem comes when you identify every event or situation as being a 10 in terms of stress. Your response or reaction then seems “always” out of proportion because it is!
Your Relationship with Stress
Experiencing stress doesn’t have to be a bad thing. Your ability to manage your stress all comes down to your relationship with stress. This relationship is built on your existing stress management skills and your experiences with stress.
If you have a poor relationship with stress, i.e. you have few skills to manage your stress or you have handled stress poorly in the past, you will probably feel overwhelmed every time you are faced with difficult decisions. Feeling overwhelmed builds your concern and hesitation into an insurmountable mountain.
There are some people who thrive on the adrenaline rush that comes from stress. This adrenaline rush can be an example of having a healthy relationship with stress. Elite athletes and some C-suite executives view their stress as an emotion that:
- stimulates creativity and
- increases productivity.
Every time you experience stress and are successful at working through the stress, you are building your healthy relationship with stress. You may face future stressful situations with determination and a sense of excitement.
When you experience stress and you perceive that you have acted poorly, been unsuccessful, crumbled or downright failed, you are also building your relationship with stress. If this is your experience with stress, you might hesitate to try something new in the future.
Stress vs. STRESSED
What is the difference between feeling stress and feeling STRESSED? It is the intensity of your feeling, i.e. how quickly and/or easily you can go from stressed (level 1) to STRESSED (level 10). There are many factors that influence how this happens.
Your current and past relationships with stress will influence your intensity of the feeling. If you have a high level of self-esteem and confidence you will likely handle a stressful situation with ease. If you have many examples of how you have managed stressful events in the past, when you encounter stress in the present, you will handle your stress with confidence.
If you feel stress, but know with certainty you will be able to face anything that is thrown at you, it doesn’t matter what the situation it, you will land on your feet and be successful.
Having stress management skills and knowing how to use them will influence how you manage stress today and in the future. While you were not born with stress management skills, you can certainly learn them. You can learn these skills from your own experiences, from parents, peers or a mentor, or from the media (books, movies, etc.).
Experiencing stress can feel energizing, or it can totally deplete your energy.
Not “One and Done”
Because stressful events and situations occur multiple times per day, you will have the opportunity to use your stress management skills frequently. Life is not using your skills once and then life is all smooth sailing.
The best part of this? If you “crumble and fail” during a stressful event or situation, there will be another opportunity right around the corner to use your skills! If you have a good relationship with stress, this will feel comforting.
Summary
You can increase your skills when it comes to stress management. I have written blogs and books that you might want to refer to:
- Crush Your Stress: 302 Coping Skills for Managing Your Stress (Book)
- Stop Being Your Own Worst Critic: How to Use Affirmations and Journaling to Enhance Your Self-Esteem (Book)
- Learn How to Establish Personal Boundaries (Blog)
- Surprising Influence That People Have On You (Blog)
With warmest regards,
Thank you so much for reading this blog. If you enjoyed the content, please check out other blogs at:
RelationshipsRelearned.com
RVingNomads.com
In addition to blogs and articles, I have written a series of self-help books called The Personal Empowerment Series and a fictional series named The Charlotte Novella Series. To view my books and novellas I have written, please go to my Amazon Authors Page.
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If you live in the State of Maine or Texas and seeking individual therapy, please go to my Concierge Therapy website: KathrynMaietta.com
| AI has not been used to create any content for my website, articles, blogs or books. All material is original unless otherwise noted. All photos and graphics within my website and blogs were taken or created by David Harrington or Kathryn Maietta. |
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