A Maine snowstorm can cause you to worry about how much snow you’re going to have to remove or, the snowstorm can cause you to feel anxiety about how bad the Maine winter is going to be.
Worry and Anxiety
During the last year you have probably experienced feelings of worry and/or anxiety. There is a lot going on in the world! Rest assured your feelings are completely normal. Both worry and anxiety are just part of life.
You may have used the words worry and anxiety interchangeably, but do they really mean the same thing? The short answer is worry and anxiety are similar in that they share a sense of concern and discontent. What is very different is how you experience worry and anxiety.
Since starting to write my blogs I have discussed the difference between:
Hopefully this blog about worry and anxiety will be just as enlightening as the other three comparison blogs.
Worry
Worry is temporary. It is focused on a specific situation or a specific threat. It is generally based on reality. Worry doesn’t impair your functioning. It may cause you some mild emotional stress, but not enough to prevent you from getting out of bed in the morning.
Actually, worry can be good for you because the thought process of worrying can stimulate your problem-solving ability! Something happens, you worry, and you put your energies into solving your problem. Once the situation or issue that was causing you to feel worried is resolved, your worry disappears.
The following are examples of worry:
Example 1: You are worried about an upcoming exam at school. You have studied but are still worried about your grade. You take the test. You receive a grade of B. Your worry is gone.
Example 2: Your in-laws are going to your house for Thanksgiving. It is the first time you have cooked a turkey, and you are worried about how the turkey will turn out. Thanksgiving comes; the turkey is moist and flavorful. Your worry is gone.
Worry is a normal feeling. It comes and it goes. It is a snapshot in time about a specific event.
Anxiety
Anxiety is more generalized, vaguer than worry. Your anxiety may not even be tied to a single event or situation. Anxiety can also involve catastrophic thinking in which you overestimate the risk involved.
One of the other differences between worry and anxiety is that anxiety involves your mind and your body. With worry there may be some mild physiological symptoms, for example, sweaty palms. But if you are feeling anxious, you may feel heart palpitations, nausea, diarrhea, muscle tightness or even shortness of breath.
Anxiety can impair your overall functioning to the point of not being able to get things done. When you are experiencing anxiety, you may feel immobilized by the “what-ifs” in life. Where worry may stimulate problem solving, anxiety can cause emotional and physical distress, sometimes even to the point of paralysis.
If you have anxiety, it is difficult to talk yourself out of your anxious thoughts. This is because your anxiety may not be tied to a specific event or situation, but more generalized.
Have you ever heard of the phrase “herding cats”? It is a frequently used phrase to describe something that is difficult to corral or contain. Anxiety can feel like herding cats; your mind is all over the place. Just when you think you have the herd under control, something happens and they scatter again!
Anxiety frequently lingers for long periods of time and can jump from one topic to another. This week you may feel anxious about the scratch on your arm that doesn’t seem to be healing quickly enough. Last week you were feeling anxious about not being able to pay the mortgage. The week before that you were anxious about your oldest child getting into his preferred college.
With anxiety, instead of problem solving like when you are worried, your brain goes into reptile brain mode (see my article on the Three Brains: What Is The Figurative Concept). This results in you going into the mindset of fight, flight, freeze, frenzy and fawning. None of these behaviors are helpful at problem solving!
With anxiety, your physical and emotional symptoms may not disappear when a stressful situation passes:
Example 3: You are worried about an upcoming exam at school. You have studied, but you are still concerned about your grade. You take the test and receive a B. Instead of feeling satisfied and calm, you start feeling anxious about the next exam!
Example 4: Your in-laws are going over to your house for Thanksgiving. It is the first time you have cooked a turkey and you are worried about how the turkey will turn out. Thanksgiving comes, the turkey is moist and flavorful. Instead of feeling satisfied and calm, you transfer your anxiety to the quality of the side dishes and the desserts!
For the person with anxiety, the topic may change, but the physical and emotional reaction may not.
What to Do?
Whether you are feeling worried or anxious, there are several things you can do to help calm your mind:
Turn off the news. Or at least watch less anxiety-provoking news coverage, or identify one period of time per day to watch/read news.
Turn off the notifications tone on your phone. Plan on looking at your Facebook notifications and messages only a couple of times per day.
Relax. Find a hobby, play with a pet, sit in the sun, read a book, take a walk, practice mindfulness.
Deep breathing exercises. Take 5 deep breaths. Breathe in soothing fresh air; exhale your feelings of anxiety.
Repeat affirmations. Recite positive statements about yourself, for example, “I am strong”, “I can do this.” See the 12/19/23 blog on Affirmations
Challenge your negative self-talk. For every negative thought that comes into your head, think of two positive thoughts.
For many people these techniques may be helpful enough to get you through times of worry or anxiety. For those with unrelenting anxiety, you may consider talking with your primary care provider about:
Talk therapy. Many people find talking with a therapist about how to manage their worry and anxiety is extremely helpful. Your therapist can work with you to identify coping techniques unique to your life situation.
Medication. Your doctor may believe your anxiety has a more chemical imbalance component and prescribe anti-anxiety medication.
Your doctor may even recommend both talk therapy and medication.
Relationships Relearned: Learn. Unlearn. Relearn
How do worry and anxiety impact your relationships with others? To be in a healthy, successful relationship, what you learned in childhood about relationships may need to be unlearned and relearned in a different way as an adult.
Feeling worried and anxious can take its toll on relationships. Maybe your worries or anxiety interfere with your ability to go places or to attempt new things. Maybe you spend more time trying to manage your anxiety than you do interacting with your significant other. Maybe you have stopped communicating with your significant other about your worry and anxiety because you feel they just don’t want to hear it anymore.
Summary
It would be difficult to go through life and not ever feel worry or anxiety. Both are normal. What is important to remember is that they are different: worry is short term and solution focused, anxiety is more generalized and can bounce from one topic, event or situation to another. There is help for managing both.
With warmest regards,
Thank you so much for reading this blog. If you enjoyed the content, please check out other blogs at:
https://relationshipsrelearned.com/my-blog/
https://rvingnomads.com/blog/
You can view my books on my Amazon Authors Page or go to the books tab at the top of this page
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