Comments from Kathryn, the author of this blog and a licensed clinical social worker: Kindness is such a buzz word right now: “Be kind to this group of people,” “Be kind to that group of people”, “Be kind to strangers.” People talk about being kind to others, but don’t really seem to be putting kindness in practice.
This dissonance between words and practice seems to be the greatest if a competition is involved. When someone is on the winning end of a competition, it is way too easy to gloat and much more difficult to be kind.
Being kind or nice doesn’t require a lot of effort. All it requires is for someone to be friendly, generous, courteous and empathetic.
Pay it Forward
To be kind you may need to do an intentional act, for example, pay it forward. It is likely this will force you outside of your comfort zone, at least the first few times you are deliberately kind. It doesn’t require a lot of money or resources, just effort and a desire to smooth a difficult situation.
Many people seem to be born with the trait of kindness. They are the children who are willing to share their toys with others. They are the children who are just naturally kind to pets. Don’t worry; if it is something you weren’t born with, you can learn it!
Examples of kindness include the following:
- Sending a text, email or snail mail letter to someone saying, “I am thinking of you”
- Paying it forward
- Volunteering
- Donating
- Smiling
- Saying, “Thank you”
Three Forms of Kindness
There are three distinct forms of kindness. While someone might practice kindness to others, what about themselves? What about kindness to society or the earth? The three forms of kindness include the following:
- Kindness to yourself: includes taking care of your mind, body and spirit. It may mean taking a break when you need it. It may mean staying hydrated, getting enough sleep, eating healthy and staying active.
- Kindness to others: includes caring about other people. It could be checking in with your elderly neighbors before or after a storm. It could be sending a care package to a veteran in another country. It could be buying a coffee for that person behind you!
- Kindness to society or to the world: includes not being wasteful, for example, reduce, recycle and reuse. It might include carrying in / carrying out your garbage when you are in a state park. It might include not being destructive to people or property during a win or a loss.
Examples
The following is an example of kindness in sports:
In October 2017, with just 200 meters left in a three-mile cross-country championship race in Utah, high school junior Blake Lewis fell and broke his left tibia. Senior teammate, Shaun Rausch, was almost at the finish line. Shaun heard the commotion and ran back to Blake. Shaun picked Blake up and carried him across the finish line. Because Shaun touched Blake, per state championship rules, both were disqualified
Shaun could easily have continued the race. He was close to the finish line, and he was going to win the championship. Instead, he chose to demonstrate kindness toward his teammate, Blake.
The following is an example of kindness relating to politics:
As the U.S. government sometimes shuts down because a budget has not been passed. In 2013 there was a 16-day government shutdown. Chris Cox, a South Carolina native, took it upon himself to clean and mow parts of the Washington Mall area when park maintenance services were told to stand down.
Chris could have made a big flashy show of what he was doing. He could have called in the press to say, “Look at me! Look at me! I am such a nice guy, see what I am doing!” He could have made the national news. But he didn’t.
Chris chose to demonstrate kindness to his community. As he was mowing the lawn outside the Lincoln Memorial, Cox said, “These are our memorials. The building behind me serves as a moral compass, not only for our country but for the world. Over my dead body are we going to find trash pouring out of these trash cans. At the end of the day, we are the stewards of these buildings.”
The following is an example of kindness in life:
Sophia and her neighbor, Katrina, have recently started having a border dispute. Katrina is convinced the hedge between the two properties will soon be so overgrown that it will scratch the side of Katrina’s car when she pulls into her driveway. Sophia’s survey says Katrina’s driveway is 10’ from Sophia’s property line and that the hedges in their present state are well within Sophia’s property boundaries.
In spite of the survey, Katrina still takes Sophia to small claims court to have the hedges removed. Based on the survey, Katrina loses.
Sophia could have taunted Katrina with her legal win by leaving the hedges exactly like they are. Instead, Sophia decided she would demonstrate kindness. She has the hedges trimmed and they are well back from Katrina’s driveway.
Take Away Point
Once a competition begins, there will be a winner and a loser. It is important to understand that winning brings a certain amount of responsibility. Being kind to someone doesn’t have to take much effort or many resources. It can be as simple as holding a door for someone or saying, “Thank you.”
If the information in this blog has been interesting to you, you may be interested in checking out my book that includes kindness as a tool to winning and losing gracefully: The Win-Lose Book: 20 Tips for Winning and Losing Gracefully in Sports, Politics and Life.
With warmest regards,
Thank you so much for reading this blog. If you enjoyed the content, please check out other blogs at:
https://relationshipsrelearned.com/my-blog/
https://rvingnomads.com/blog/
In addition to blogs and articles, I have written a series of self-help books. To view these books, please go to my Amazon Authors Page or go to the books tab at the top of this page.
To be notified of future posts, please enter your email address and click on the Subscribe button.
If you live in the State of Maine or Texas and seeking individual therapy, please go to my Concierge Therapy website: www.kathynmaietta.com
| AI has not been used to create any content for my website, articles, blogs or books. All material is original unless otherwise noted. All photos and graphics within my website and blogs were taken or created by David Harrington or Kathryn Maietta. |
Leave a Reply
Your email is safe and will not be shared.