Not all people are considered equal in terms of being loyal, supportive, and caring. Part of being discerning in your relationships with others is being aware of who you are interacting with. Not who in terms of their title, for example, spouse, friend, or co-worker. No, who they are as human beings. Are they trustworthy or will they share your secrets with the world? Those are the traffic light people in your life.
While it sounds simplistic, it may be helpful to identify people in your life as:
- a red traffic light person
- a yellow traffic light person
- a green traffic light person
If you are contemplating having a serious discussion with another person, for example, your significant other, your friends, a supervisor, or a neighbor, visualize a traffic light.
Thinking of people as one of the three colors on a traffic light allows you to slow your mind down and perhaps think twice before sharing a confidence with someone.
Red Traffic Light People
The red lens on a traffic light means “Stop!” It is not your turn to proceed; you do not have the right of way.
The same is true of red traffic light people. A red traffic light person is someone to stay away from. If it is not possible to stay away from a red traffic light person because the person is your supervisor or co-worker or a family member at a family gathering, at least be aware of how you will limit your conversation with these individuals.
The red traffic light person may have been a green traffic light person at one point, but times can change. Be aware of this!
It may not be worth your effort, time, or energy to attempt a deep, meaningful conversation with someone who will not have your back. You have probably been betrayed by a red traffic light person in the past. Why make the same mistake twice?
Yellow Traffic Light People
The yellow lens on a traffic light means “Caution!” It tells you to slow down, look both ways, double-check what is to your right and left, and then proceed with caution.
There will be many more yellow traffic light people in your life than red or green traffic light people. Yellow traffic light people might be an acquaintance, someone you met at the grocery store, a co-worker you share lunch with, a neighbor two doors down, someone you took a class with. You may be friendly with them, but have never shared a confidence with them.
Because a yellow traffic light person has not been “tested”, you may never know how they will respond, or what they will say if you share a confidence. This is why they are called yellow traffic light people. With testing, they could go toward red or toward green. They are the “wild cards”.
In many ways, yellow traffic light people are more “dangerous” to you than a red traffic light person. You know a red traffic light person will betray you, but you don’t know what a yellow traffic light person will do. They have not been tested. Yellow traffic light people are to be handled with caution.
Green Traffic Light People
The green lens on a traffic light means “Go!” The green light lets you know it is your turn to proceed; you have the right of way.
A green traffic light person is someone who is safe to “go to”. They are a friend, family member, co-worker or neighbor who has proven to be trustworthy. They are someone who has been tested over time, meaning you have shared a confidence with them and they have not betrayed you.
The green traffic light person in your life is going to be the person who will tell you the truth, even if you don’t want to hear it!
Determining the Color
The length of time you have known someone will not determine whether they are trustworthy. Perhaps you have worked with someone for 20 years, but never shared a confidence or exposed a vulnerability to them. They are still a yellow traffic light person to you. Just because someone has been a family member for 20 years or all your life does not change them into a green traffic light person.
Someone’s status in your life does not change their color, either. Being a boyfriend, girlfriend, or marriage partner does not automatically make them a green traffic light person. Many times a family member is a red traffic light person because they know your vulnerabilities and have breached your confidence. Being an acquaintance or a new co-worker does not automatically make them a red traffic light person, either.
Little can stimulate aggression more than expecting someone to be trustworthy (a green traffic light person), only to find out they are red!
Summary
Increasing confidence and decreasing vulnerabilities are part of developing a healthy, strong belief system. When you are able to determine the green traffic light people in your life, you are able to seek them out during times of stress. They are the people who will have your back, the people who will support you through the ups and downs of life.
If this blog has provided you with some interesting and helpful information, you might be interested in reading my book, Be Angry But Not Aggressive: 7 Proven Skills For Managing Your Anger
With warmest regards,
Thank you so much for reading this blog. If you enjoyed the content, please check out other blogs at:
RelationshipsRelearned.com
RVingNomads.com
In addition to blogs and articles, I have written a series of self-help books called The Personal Empowerment Series and a fictional series named The Charlotte Novella Series. To view my books and novellas I have written, please go to my Amazon Authors Page.
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| AI has not been used to create any content for my website, articles, blogs or books. All material is original unless otherwise noted. All photos and graphics within my website and blogs were taken or created by David Harrington or Kathryn Maietta. |
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