Affects of “The Shoulds,” “FOND,” and “Productivity Anxiety

Comments from Kathryn, the author of this blog and a licensed clinical social worker: As a therapist I regularly talk with clients who struggle with FOND or the fear of not doing. There is one definitive method of detecting FOND: when a client starts a sentence with, “I should….”:

“I should have known better.”
“I should be able to have a healthy work-home balance.”
“I should have completed more on my to do list.”

No, in fact you can’t possibly know everything or predict how every situation will play out. All this thought pattern does is make you less productive, feel guilty, and almost guarantees you will be less likely to complete the tasks on your to do list.

As a therapist, I see FOND or “The Shoulds” happening way too often. When FOND or The Shoulds becomes overwhelming, it may even cross the line into something called productivity anxiety.

FOND or the Fear of Not Doing

FOND is when you feel guilty for spending free moments not being productive, for example, napping instead of running errands or washing the dishes or mowing the lawn.

Napping is actually a quality event that rejuvenates you, but it is probably difficult to accept that if you have productivity anxiety!

When you start to base your happiness and success on your ability to be purposefully productivity, you may feel very uncomfortable just watching a movie and relaxing. If you are always thinking about what you need to be doing now, or doing next, or what you should have done earlier, that is enough to provoke a harmful stress response in your body.

The cure for FOND is twofold:

Let go of the idea that there is not enough time in the day
Let go of the idea of wasted time

What is Productivity Anxiety?

Productivity anxiety occurs when there is a pervasive, nagging sense that you are not producing enough, that you are not DOING enough, that you are not productive enough. It can end up causing physical and psychological stress.

It is whenever you become fixated on the idea that you are not making progress or enough progress. No matter how many hours you work or how much you accomplish, it never feels like enough.

Is there any way to tell if you suffer from productivity anxiety? Absolutely. These are some of the most common symptoms:

You add more items to your to do list than you take off
Your ability to relax is elusive
You are a procrastinator, always putting off to tomorrow what you planned to do today
You have few or no boundaries between your work and home life
You strive for perfection and then emotionally beat yourself up when you are not able to achieve it
You compare yourself and your accomplishments with those who are around you and their accomplishments

Productivity anxiety can be eased if not eliminated. Recognizing you are so hard on yourself is the first step to focusing on your productivity vs. contentment.

Easing or Eliminating the Negative Cycle of Productivity Anxiety

Your “shoulds” and/or productivity anxiety do not need to have control over you. You can gain control over these negative, harmful thoughts! The following are 10 steps you can use to take control of what controls you:

Focus on making progress, not attaining perfection.
Be more realistic in the expectations you set for yourself.
Divide your to do list into thirds. The top third is your priority list, the items that must be done. The second third will be things to do ASAP, with the bottom third the things that need to be done, just not now.
Avoid multitasking. No matter what you think, you will not be able to do the same quality of work on 4 projects at a time as you could if you did one task at a time.
“No” is a full sentence. Don’t be afraid to turn down additional commitments.
Practice a healthy lifestyle; get enough sleep, stay hydrated, avoid processed foods, keep active, etc.
Celebrate your accomplishments. When you cross something off your to do list, or drink enough water in the day, celebrate it!
Disconnect. Take a digital detox. Turn off your email or news feed notifications.
Develop healthy boundaries at work and at home. Identify your triggers, identify your boundaries and then decide how you will enforce your boundaries with others.
Embrace pausing. Plan on working for 45 minutes, then take a 15 minute break to refresh and regroup.

If you are unable to prioritize yourself and you focus on all of the things you should have done, or on all the things you should do in the future, you may need some support. It could be a trusted friend, a family member or a co-worker who really understands the demands of your job.

If you are still struggling with productivity anxiety, you can always work with a therapist. Anxiety of any kind is highly treatable.

Take Away Point

When you look around you or scroll through social media, you might get the idea that everyone is doing well in life. It may appear “everyone” is highly successful at accomplishing tasks, being physically fit, and having wonderfully exciting vacations.

The reality is that those people have probably had their share of missteps and setbacks, too. They just aren’t going to show it or post it.

You can take control of the part of your mind that focuses on The Shoulds, FOND and your productivity anxiety. You can start today.

With warmest regards,

Thank you so much for reading this blog. If you enjoyed the content, please check out other blogs at:
https://relationshipsrelearned.com/my-blog/
https://rvingnomads.com/blog/

In addition to blogs and articles, I have written a series of self-help books. To view these books, please go to my Amazon Authors Page or go to the Self-Help Books tab at the top of this page.

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If you live in the State of Maine or Texas and seeking individual therapy, please go to my Concierge Therapy website: www.kathynmaietta.com

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Kathryn Maietta, MSW, LCSW Licensed Clinical Social Worker / Author and Blogger

I am a licensed clinical social worker in Maine and in Texas. The focus of my practice has been working individually with adult men and women and working with couples. I received my BSW from Baylor University and my MSW from Boston University. Since 2020 I have published a series of self-help books and written a bi-weekly mental health blog.

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