Our Relationship with Pets: For the Love of Levi
In my previous blogs I have written about the relationships we have with others: our family of origin, our family of creation, our friends, our acquaintances, and society. This blog will be about the relationship we have with our pets.
This is a subject that is very near and dear to my heart. Before I speak in general about human relationships with pets, please indulge me a little. Let me tell you a little about a very intelligent, intuitive, empathetic, loving rescue dog by the name of Levi.
Levi
Levi was an Anatolian Shepherd, and from the second I saw him I was in love. When I was in private practice, Levi went to work with me every day, except when he went to doggie day care to play with his friends!
Levi was a working dog. Not a police dog or a sheep herding dog, but an “office greeter”. When I was in private practice, when my clients arrived for their session, Levi would go bounding down the hall to the waiting room to greet whoever came through the door. He would wag his tail, and people would smile at him and pat him until it was their turn to be seen. His relationship with some clients was simply unconditional acceptance. If someone didn’t like dogs, he would sense it, and walk back to my office hanging his head. We liked to call this his “walk of shame”. He was such a sweet, gentle dog, he just couldn’t understand why anyone wouldn’t like him!
He had a unique relationship with every client he met; he provided unconditional empathy. I once had a client who was deathly afraid of dogs. Levi respected her fear, and never imposed himself on her. During the course of her treatment her husband passed away. As expected, many sessions she would come into my office and just cry. On one particularly difficult day she came into my office and just sobbed. Levi, who had always kept his physical distance from her (remember, she was afraid of dogs), went over to her and gently laid his head on her thigh, wagging just the tip of his tail. She tentatively started patting his head and then stroking his fur, and eventually hugging him around his neck as she cried. From that day on, it became his “job” to sit next to her chair so she could stoke his fur as she talked.
This was Levi’s life. In every relationship he had, he was memorable. He is overwhelmingly missed. May he rest in the peace he deserves.
Dogs
Many of us have relationships with dogs! According to Pet Owner Statistics, in 2020 67% of American households, or 84.9 million people, own at least one kind of pet. 53% of these households own dogs. https://spots.com/pet-ownership-statistics/
Dogs are pack animals. They are social animals and crave relationships with people. They desperately want to be part of the family. While legally a dog is “just a possession” like a car or boat, we all know this isn’t true! They are important members of our family. They want and need relationships with “their” humans:
• To provide companionship
• To provide personal protection by acting as a living “alarm system”
• To support people with physical disabilities (hearing, sight)
• To be emotional therapy dogs (for traumatized children, in hospitals, at senior centers)
For some dogs, their relationship with humans is more of a working relationship. Their relationship to their human is designed to provide a variety of services:
• Working on farms to herd other animals
• Protecting a flock
• Helping their human professionals detect bombs, drugs or cadavers
• Assisting police officers track criminals
Just like any other relationship, this person-dog relationship takes time and effort. The reward is ginormous.
Cats
In 2020, 35.7% of the U.S. population, or 42.7 million homes, own cats, https://spots.com/pet-ownership-statistics/ including me! Rusty and Lucky came into our home the same week as Levi. The three of them grew up together. Levi and Rusty had a great relationship; they were the best of friends. Lucky’s primary relationship was with his kitty-brother, Rusty.
Lucky 2009
The relationship we have with our cats tends to be different than our relationship with dogs. Did you know there are actually scientifically proven benefits to humans of having a cat in the home? https://www.goodnet.org/articles/7-scientifically-proven-health-benefits-being-cat-owner
- Cats can lower your risk of heart disease.
- Listening to a cat purring helps to heal bones, tendons and muscles.
- You will sleep better if a cat sleeps on your bed.
- A man owning a cat will be more attractive to women.
- Cats reduce stress and anxiety.
- Cats mean fewer allergies for children.
- Watching cat videos is actually good for you.
In many ways, our relationship with our pet cat is “easier” than with dogs. Because of their more independent nature and ability to be house trained, cats make great apartment or small home pets. Cats:
- Tend to be quieter than dogs
- Are relatively low maintenance
- Tend to cost less to care for than dogs
- Have a longer lifespan than dogs
- Have been known to keep unwanted pets out of your house
https://freshpet.com/blog/10-reasons-why-cats-make-great-pets/
Cats can be wonderful companions. And maybe this is the best reason for any relationship.
Cats or Dogs
Popular culture and the media want you to view the relationship between dogs and cats as a “feud”, or a “rivalry”. Dogs are frequently portrayed as “man’s best friend” and cats are frequently portrayed as “man’s best frenemy”. The media promotes dogs as being friendly, loyal and affectionate while cats are promoted as aloof, cold and calculating. https://qz.com/304236/theres-science-behind-your-inexplicably-close-relationship-with-your-cat/
Nothing could be further from the truth! Just as there are differences in people, there are differences in cats and dogs. Relationships with their humans have an incredible impact on both dogs and cats. Cats can be as friendly, loyal and affectionate as dogs. Just as dogs can be as aloof, cold and calculating as cats!
If you need any further ideas about the relationship (attachment) you share with your cat or dog, here are some characteristics pets and their humans share:
• Both want to be physically close
• Mutual support, i.e. wanting to be emotionally close
• Distress upon separation
• Pleasure at reunion
Whichever you prefer, dogs or cats, during this COVID crisis when we have had less physical contact with our human family members, pets have stepped in and provided a great level of comfort and support. For many, this relationship with pets has helped to decrease depression levels. (See What is a Healthy Relationship? article for more information)
With warmest regards,
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