Comments from Kathryn, the author of this blog and a licensed clinical social worker. Understanding feelings can be very difficult. What may not be understood is that all feelings:

• Fall into two categories, basic and complex
• May be classified as pleasant or unpleasant
• Have intensities

Basic vs. Complex Feelings

Feelings can be either basic or complex. Sometimes people are just happy. There is no specific reason for their happiness; there is just a feeling of contentment. Other times, the feeling of happiness is compounded by feeling a sense of pride, gratitude, acceptance and/or accomplishment.

One is not ‘better’ than the other. They are just different.

Basic Feelings

Basic feelings are associated with universally recognizable facial expressions and behavioral responses. It is usually not too difficult to identify the facial expressions of someone who is happy, sad, fearful or angry.

Basic feelings are usually automatic and instinctive, triggered by specific stimuli. For example, if I see a mother bear and her cubs on the hiking trail in front of me, it will be easy to see the fear on my face. If I find out my significant other has cheated on me, it will be relatively easy to identify my anger just based on my facial expression!

Complex Feelings

Complex feelings are the blend of two or more basic emotions, for example, grief, regret and jealousy. While observing someone with basic feelings are relatively easy to identify, with complex feelings, it will be much more difficult to identify. The facial appearance, composition and expression of someone with complex feelings will be highly variable.

Complex feelings are formed by the influence of your thoughts, beliefs, and cultural context. It may be difficult to observe if someone is feeling grief, regret, envy, guilt or pride. This is especially true when it comes to observations of individuals across cultures.

Pleasant vs. Unpleasant Feelings

Something also discussed in therapy is that feelings are either pleasant or unpleasant. I highly discourage people from talking about positive or negative feelings. What usually happens is that people will identify anger as a negative feeling and then want nothing to do with it! Feeling anger, and expressing it in a healthy manner is reasonable, appropriate and necessary!

Pleasant Feelings

With pleasant feelings, someone might feel ‘light as a feather!’ There may be a lot of smiling and a lot of eye contact. People who have pleasant feelings won’t take things too seriously. They are able to be objective and hear both sides of a position. They are able to negotiate.

Unpleasant Feelings

With unpleasant feelings, it is hard to be objective. They may feel like there is a heavy weight on their shoulders. Smiles are few and far between. Eye contact will probably be poor. People with unpleasant feelings may feel like they are ‘dragging.’ Discussions may end up in arguments or disagreements.

Intensity of Feelings

The intensity of your feelings can range from 1 to 5, with 5 being the most intense. For example, in the category of anger, a 1 might be frustration or annoyance. A 3 might be impatient or disgusted. A 5 might be enraged or furious.

Most people do not start off feeling angry as a 5. Most people start at a 1 and work their way up to a 5. At any point in time, if someone is able to recognize the intensity of their feeling, they can work to bring the intensity down to a manageable or reasonable level.

If someone’s anger has intensified from a 1 to a 2, and from a 2 to a 3, there is still an opportunity to bring the feeling back down to a 1 again. But someone must be able to recognize they are spiraling.

Perhaps the following list of feelings and corresponding intensities of feelings will help identify what level you are at.

Pleasant Feelings

Unpleasant Feelings

Take Away Point

Feelings are frequently difficult to identify and understand, even when they are your own! Being able to tell the difference between your basic and complex feelings, your pleasant and unpleasant feelings and the intensity of your feelings may help in improving communication with others.

With warmest regards,

Thank you so much for reading this blog. If you enjoyed the content, please check out other blogs at:
RelationshipsRelearned.com
RVingNomads.com

In addition to blogs and articles, I have written a series of self-help books called The Personal Empowerment Series and a fictional series named The Charlotte Novella Series. To view my books and novellas I have written, please go to my Amazon Authors Page.

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If you live in the State of Maine or Texas and seeking individual therapy, please go to my Concierge Therapy website: KathrynMaietta.com

Kathryn Maietta, MSW, LCSW Licensed Clinical Social Worker / Author and Blogger

I am a licensed clinical social worker in Maine and in Texas. The focus of my practice has been working individually with adult men and women and working with couples. I received my BSW from Baylor University and my MSW from Boston University. Since 2020 I have published a series of self-help books and written a bi-weekly mental health blog.

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Anger Management Domestic Abuse/Violence Relationships Stress and Anxiety Communication Resilience