It has happened again. There has been another contentious, divisive election. No one really “wins”. Because whatever candidate or party won or lost on November 8th, one thing will be for absolute certain: the media will focus less on reporting facts of the election and more on whipping up hate, anger and discontent.

The result? We have become a country of people who struggle to win or lose gracefully. Sadly, it doesn’t matter if the contest is a:

• political election
• sporting event or
• social cause

Do you need to step back and think about winning and losing gracefully in this political season? You are not alone. Read on!

Winning Gracefully

If you have been passionate about your candidate and are on the “winning side”, it feels great! It feels like there is an abundance of sunshine, rainbows and unicorns in the world! You feel happy or maybe even giddy! You feel light as air! Life is grand!

Being graceful in a win shows your character. Of course, there will be people who share your view and there will be people who do not. People will remember you for your reaction. How do you want to be remembered?

The following are five tips for demonstrating how to win gracefully:

1. Enjoy victory, but never gloat.
   Keep in mind there is a thin line between celebrating and gloating. And limit the trash talking around people whose candidate was defeated.
2. Practice empathy.
   In most competitions, given a different set of circumstances, you and your candidate may be on the defeated side.
3. Read the room.
   Graceful winners are able to determine if it is okay after a win to dance around the room in jubilation or to save the celebration for another crowd, another time.
4. Role model how to be a winner.
   It doesn’t matter who you are (parent, work supervisor, coach) or where you are (home, work, sports field), others will be watching your responses.
5. Choose your social media posts wisely.
   We are so lucky in the USA that there is freedom of speech. You can say anything you want on your social media, but keep in mind, just because you can post anything you want, it doesn’t mean you should. Keep in mind whatever you post will be available for eternity.

Losing Gracefully

If you have been passionate about your candidate and are on the “losing side”, it feels horrible. Gloom and doom abound and it feels as if the world could come crashing in. You feel devastated and angry. Your heart feels heavy and you feel like the world may come to an end.

Being graceful in losing shows your character. Of course, there will be people who share your view and there will be people who do not. People will remember you for your reaction. How do you want to be remembered?

The following are five tips for demonstrating how to lose gracefully:

1. Remember you have been here before.
   In your lifetime you have probably faced many losses and many defeats. You survived. You were able to come to a resolution and find acceptance.
2. Admit you cannot control everything.
   While there are many things in life you can control, there are many more things you cannot, for example, the outcome of an election.
3. Stop blaming and/or making excuses.
   It is very common to become overly critical and make excuses when there has been a defeat, for example, “The election was rigged!”
4. Put things in perspective.
   People often make the mistake of dwelling on defeats of the past. Instead of brooding over the defeat, think of what can be done to create a turnaround.
5. Keep your cool.
   If your candidate loses, there may be a period of time when you feel like screaming your lungs out or throwing a tantrum. This is normal. But there is a pretty big difference between feeling like doing something and actually doing it. Keep your cool. Don’t do or say anything now that you will regret later.

How to Manage the Person Who is Apoplectic

Because the media has done such a “great job” instigating a state of frenzy, there will likely be someone you interact with, for example, a family member, friend, co-worker or neighbor who will be one of “those people” who are apoplectic about their candidate winning or losing.

1. Walk away.
   Sometimes it is just not worth your emotional wellbeing to be around people who cannot control themselves concerning the outcome of an election.
2. Avoid apoplectic people.
   You know who they are. If at all possible, stay away from these people until the election frenzy has cooled.
3. Be curious.
   It is possible the person who is apoplectic has some valid points. Be open minded to hearing what they have to say.
4. Let it go.
   Just because others are in a frenzy, it doesn’t mean you need to be. Let them spew. Know there is another election around the corner.
5. Find someone to talk to.
   It is okay to vent to a few close friends and family members. If you still feel agitated, your blood pressure remains high and adrenalin continues to course through your veins, it may be time to contact a therapist who can help you move forward. See Want Therapy? – Where and How to Find a Therapist and How To Find The Right Therapist For You – Credentials

Take Away Point

Elections have consequences. Your candidate may not win this time. But beyond your single vote, you do not have control of elections. What you do have control over is yourself and your reactions to situations.

With warmest regards,

Thank you so much for reading this blog. If you enjoyed the content, please check out other blogs at:
www.relationshipsrelearned.com
www.rvingnomads.com

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Kathryn Maietta, MSW, LCSW Licensed Clinical Social Worker / Author and Blogger

I am a licensed clinical social worker in Maine and in Texas. The focus of my practice has been working individually with adult men and women and working with couples. I received my BSW from Baylor University and my MSW from Boston University. Since 2020 I have published a series of self-help books and written a bi-weekly mental health blog.

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Anger Management Domestic Abuse/Violence Relationships Stress and Anxiety Communication Resilience